Affirmation to speak out loud.

God will provide me all that I need. He has never left, He will never leave. most High protects me, and sets me up to achieve dreams I was unknowingly willing to see. naïve. Faith can be naïve.

God is real.

He has never left, He will never leave.

My God is Supernatural, He loves me.

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I’ve created this affirmation for individuals who believe to say out loud.

REMINDER:

I don’t believe in consequences. I believe in predicaments meant to set you up to be who you are meant to be. Nothing is ever a failure. Literally. NOTHING. Failure is staying down. I’m not doing that. You aren’t doing that. Failure is pushing yourself when you know you need to pause. Failure is not loving yourself during the most difficult times of your life.

You are where you’re suppose to be to set yourself up for your highest self.

aj

dedicated to college students/ individuals who feel behind in their journey.

Comparison will be the death of us all. Everyone has their own timing. Flowers don’t all bloom at the same time! Some are faster than others, while some bloom slower. But, a flower will always be a flower, no matter it’s timing. Thus, timing is of the essence. Never ever forget this is YOUR journey, and you owe an explanation of your timing to no one, unless you want to. All you can and must do is your best in your journey, and continue to stride forward. Stay persistent. Persistency is a quality you should feel very proud and satisfied with because good qualities are what the world is in need of. Degrees validate the ego, but do not accurately reflect your struggles, or state of mind.

There are several dumb asses who have transferred and/or have degrees. There are (also) several intelligent individuals who have transferred and/or have degrees.

At the end of the day, don’t let your ego be louder than your thoughts.

You will make it. 

You are smart. You are powerful. You have magic. Regardless of what phase you are in your life.  We are each different, thus we have different talents, skills, and knowledge, which set us up for differing timing.

Continue pushing, and make sure your makeup is poppin’ to remain the bad bitch you already are. To my Fella’s groom ya self.

Still, always remember beauty fades, but

knowledge is true power.

xo,

aj

New Moon: Eclipsed

hello new moon,


it’s been a long time since i’ve talked to you.
i guess you can say
i miss you.

i.miss.you.new.moon.

hm,
i’m lost without you new moon.

moon shines, moon replies,
moon child,where have you been?
where has she been?
you forgot to pause to go deep deep deep
within.

where have i been?
there’s none like you, moon.

hm,
hm,

i haven’t really sat, and talked to you, but i hope you listen as my lips glisten.
LOOK!
there’s star
1 & 2

six.

6 stars

i can’t believe this is what it’s come to
me lost with out you,
moon.
me talking to you,
moon.

new moon, what do i do?
i haven’t talked to you in so long
i want to talk to you, new moon.

help me.
i was gone for so long.

bring She back to me
bring She back to the core of me
bring She to the stars
She is a star.

She was naïve, oh so naïve
i am empowered She.
why was i naïve she?

what happened to me?
what happened to She?

She. She.
She.

i’m nothing with out
me.me.ME.

look at me new moon,
as i dance in your shadows
anticipation.
i’m under your spell
you’ve casted spells

i’m here, you’re there.

moon said, it’s dark without She

without me?

moon.
shallow.
everyone so shallow.
everyone around she is
shallow.shallow.shallow.

like the rivers
river pools
shallow

moon replies, the reflection of me is your shadow.

new moon, i’m so awake- they can’t relate.

new moon states,
you’re never ever late

you arrive at eclipse,
darkness and lightness are now one.
glow for now you are one.

jealousy, envy, and hate,
vanish
disseminate.

moon child,
moon and She
are one,
you are small
my little one.

lost?
unique.
you will never relate.
they will never relate.
release the past
that’s hate.hate.hate.

new moon,
what’s in store for me this season?

heal She.
elevate.

new moon,
i.missed.you

i missed She.
never leave me. press play, dance for me.
5,6,7……

She prepares, She replies,

8.

Awake.

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Naïve (shaky hand) art.

Last year, the day before my birthday, I was hyped to draw and paint a “cutesy” cartoon character to apply tan skin.
As a child, I always reached for peach colors to paint/colorin my figurines Anglo/white. My child self thought my brown skin was ugly during a stage of my life. I even avoided the sun during recess to “preserve” a lighter complexion. i find it sad, and dissapointing, that children still feel this way.
Of course my mother loves my brown skin, and called me her little “‘negrita”, a term of endearment (depending on the individual) for Latino black/brown skin children. However, growing up in America.. i heard “negra” and associated it as a bad word because of the underlying racial history in this country. I was overly saturated on perspectives that were beautiful, but weren’t much like myself. College has allowed me to shift back and empower myself. Now, i love when my mother refers to me as her “negrita”, its adorable. I understand and feel love from her roots.
When I created this amatuer piece, I wanted to feel like a child participating in an art class. My hand was shaky because it was very symbolic process.

I was definitely delving back into my childhood insecurities. Water colors make it difficult to paint dark skin, (or i’m an amateaur who hasnt figured it out…yet.) We have, and are still raising children to be bias towards lighter skin. Colorism is an issue that effects the mental health of many brown and black children.
We must tell our children how beautiful they are, the way they are, until they believe it. Childhood moments are engraved in our life forever. I suggest to encourage children to pursue dolls with all skin complexions to raise consciousness on the beauty of diverse skin.

I leave you with this film. There are ones more relevant to todays time, but I wish to remind of you the generational inheritance of mental health, and trauma. protect yourself 💖
one luv,
amaris j.

a fool tonight

I don’t feel like staying home tonight.

I wish to get drunk off wine or cocktails, something, make small mistakes tonight.

after sunset

you and She tonight.

What’s the highest height

travel the world,

my world.

it’s suppose to be ours tonight.

flight.

I’m sick of writing love poems with no love life.

Drinking solo tonight

I just might.

play Billie Holiday –

“I’m a fool to want you”

I sure am,

not just tonight.

shyness.

I am a very shyyyyyy individual.

It's become problematic for a young woman my age. I find myself purposely walking routes where there are less people, or I gaze sights for inspiration to write.

If I've created a bond with you, it's very one on one, as those of you who associate with me know. Good friends know this quality of me weighs heavy, and gives me slight anxiety, but it's who I am. Being shy doesn't mean I won't speak my mind or let my personality show, but seeking comfort around individuals is a process that I take cautiously and sacredly.

I thought about changing this,
but the more people I meet…

The more I love to stay home with Leo or
adventure with nature.

LA Contemporary dance.

I appreciate dance trailers and reels. I think about cinematographers and film editors as much as I think of dancers, outfit designers, and stage production.

Witnessing several layers in one long film excites me! Here is our LA contemporary dance company. The talent is heavy.

poof poof

I'm a boring 2o something year old.
I eat lbs of chocolate
practice yoga and dance in my room.
I read when I'm yellow or blue,
I ditch plans to finish the last couple pages
Non fiction
Few.

I play music loud,
I can't hear you
My earplugs are on loud.

I'm a boring 2o something year old
I'd rather cuddle drink wine eat fries or pizza
Definitely toke that herb with you
poof
Poof

*poof* mountain view.
I like drives to mountains
After dark, at night til 2.
2 am
Mountain talks
I'm scared.
Coyotes in my view
Perfect.
now you can hug She
Love meeeeee
Phew.

I'm a boring 2o something year old
not many understand my thoughts, preferences, or intellect
philosophy will be the death of me
unless you talk to me

Yeah, I'm in the mood to
listen to you.

Poof poof

academics

I'm excited for Fall semester. I want to condition myself to return to my studious, note taking, organized self. I love writing. Literally. I love holding a pen or pencil.. basically any writing utensil… note taking with color pens is most exciting for me, especially when it's a subject I enjoy. I appreciate penmanship. My hand writing speaks for me as much as words do when i write nicely and neatly. Art.

Also, my paper looks beautiful.

I save old notes to make sure my thoughts and facts are exciting, as well as visually appealing.

JustThinkin'.