Volume

But. when will my heart heal?

I don’t see her, but I hear her. Her words are volume 10. I hear her, and now my heart is shattered in a million pieces. My heart is shattered because I sense her pain. It reminds me of the hole in me. I was doing great too. Then, I saw her broken. She wore dark lipstick too.

My heart was broken. dark lipstick. I play dress up. I guess I’m great at playing the fool. I’m great at pretending. I wonder if I’ll ever stop loving you? Will I ever stop loving you? You aren’t even good for me. They never are…

I think of you..

I think of him the man who breaks me a million and one times. A million and one times infinity multiplied by negative two. negative two…

I fell in love with a man a year ago. He wasn’t my partner, but I fell in love with him in the Spring. Look at me. I’m on recovery. I was naive. My heart was his toy. Attraction, pleasure, and joy. Leave me broken by next Spring.

Why is it hard to let go?

I don’t see her, but I feel her. Her voice is volume 10. My thoughts are volume -6.

I miss him. I miss what was never mine. I miss lips I’ve never kissed. I miss a scent I’ve never smelled. I miss you. I miss his eyes and posture focused towards mine. I had him, but he had me more than I had he. My heart is a toy. His muteness is the death of me. And, still I’m naive.

I want you…

I don’t see her, but I hear her. Together our cries are volume 20. She can’t let go. None of us can let go. She tells me her heart is broken. Yeah, I know. I can barely stand to look at you. We’re great at being the fools.

I look at us. I see that we are Great.

I’m done. I’m seriously done.

Look at love. Making pretties be the fools.

Yeah, I wish I was too. But, I’m a fool

If you’re reading this, I miss you…

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