Zami

Zami: A new spelling of my name, Audre Lorde. 1982.

I have always wanted to be both man and woman, to incorporate the strongest and richest parts of my mother and father within/into me- to share valleys and mountains upon my body the way the earth does in hills and peaks.

I would like to enter a woman the way any man can, and to be entered-to leave and to be left- to be hot and hard and soft all at the same time in the cause of our loving. I would like to drive forward and at other times times to rest or be driven. When I sit and play in the waters of my bath I love to feel the deep inside parts of me, sliding and folded and tender and deep. Other times I like to fantasize the core of it, my pearl, a protruding part of me, hard and sensitive and vulnerable in a different way.

I have felt the age-old triangle of mother father and child, with the “I” at its eternal core, elongate and flatten out into the elegantly strong triad of grandmother and daughter, with the “I” moving back and forth flowing in either or both directions as needed.
Woman forever. My body, a living representation of other life older longer wiser. The mountains and valleys, trees, rocks, Sand, and flowers and water and stone. Made in earth.

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