Full Moon, I missed you.
This cycle was complex; nevertheless, like every cycle, this one had tons of refreshing discoveries. We are put on this Earth to love, open hearts, and remind one another of our collective human nature. I’m not sure why, but this year the Universe put strangers in my path way for me to love. I want my nature to reminds people that it’s ok to live fully, it’s ok to feel whole heartedly, it’s ok to be curious… Its ok to be Human.
To all who know me, know that I love to share this love of mine with all of you.
Today, I was at work when a lady arrived to the front desk in complete distraught. She didn’t have to say much, but I could sense and see her stress. She signed herself into yoga. As she signs herself in I greeted her “Hello”, and asked courteously with a smile, “How are you?”. She said “Good.”. I knew she wasn’t “Good”, but I continued my employee duties. She paid for class with her bank card, I asked for her signature on the receipt. Then, somewhere in the middle of our interaction it got blurry. She could no longer stay within the boundaries of normality. She was dealing with her internal mess, one exhale away from a river of tears. She interrupts during our transaction “I’m sorry! I really need yoga… AND I’m about to cry.I’m holding it in.” I sensed her. She wanted to explain herself. We always want to explain our out of the ordinary behavior to justify that the broken, messy, or ugly side of us isn’t a representation of who we are.
It’s such a horrible feeling to hold in a much needed cry. So, I told her, ” My goodness! Please just let it out and CRY! Why are you holding yourself back from crying?!!”…
I’m tired of everyone pretending.
Why does everyone hold themselves back from being Human?
Do you not see that pastures are greenest after the rain has poured? The sky is most blue after the rainstorm.
She looked at me and began to cry… I immediately thought “Man, what did I do?”. Did I mention I was at work? Am I’m going to get fired? I encouraged….a customer.to.cry. I need to contain my free spirit.
However, in the moment, I didn’t regret it. We pretend everything is perfect all the time. We smile at one another not knowing much of the figurative worlds we each live in. We make assumptions of one another seeking external truths, but forgetting of instinctual and absolute truths higher than one self. This week someone casually said “When we value expectations all falls part.” Theres an expectation to be perfect, rather than be Human. I like to hear that one guy in my class laugh for more than 30 seconds at jokes that are apparently “not that funny”. I don’t care if that’s long to you, I don’t care if the joke is “over”, or if his laugh is obnoxious. He’s happy and I want everyone to be and feel happy in the moment. I know what it’s like to want to savor the sensation of happiness and joy in my belly. Is happiness temporary? Laugh hard. Cry hard. I like to cry away the congested feeling from chest. I don’t care if my eyes are red and puffy. I need to be reminded that my heart feels more than a beat. I enjoy being human. If pieces of me are temporarily shattered I sweep it up, create a mosaic, look at the reflection, and remind myself of who I am. Human. Perfectly flawed.
She looked at me. She was even prettier with her guard down. She was beautiful when she showed me: Human. She walked away with sniffles and tears. I was worried but she looked relieved. Later, She came back with a smile on her face. Tears are purifying. She thanked me, I reminded her that she’s human. Through her, I somehow reminded myself that I too am Human.
Happy Friday, Happy Full Moon.