As of late experiences, events,  and reads have caused me to dive deeply in the ocean of me. I find myself in a whirl pool familiarizing with several versions of self, which do I tend to? Life has me curious with its subliminal hints. I want to enjoy life’s delicacies, but curiosity is at times intimidating. I’m enamored by possibilities, yet the leaps necessary have me breathless and anxious. I know… I and no one  can grow without risk, but even risks require us to engage in thoughtful process. What has us so afraid of new experiences?

My dualistic nature is constantly at odds with each other. I yearn to feel and be liberated, then I think of purpose.  I can’t find value in life if I do not fulfill what I’m put on this Earth to do. . .

Yet, sometimes I think it’d be much easier if I took my cherished belongings to a new country. I’d re invent myself or something.. These fantasies of mine, of us all.. Sometimes we wish we could runaway. At least, I do…but I can’t, and as usual life pauses for no one-this is why we must pause our self in life.

So, I continue on the search to fulfill my purpose, seek joy, and remain curious. We’re all explorers. Some of us are fearless, others fearful, some adventurous, and others mellow. At times we’re all, it simply depends on the circumstance.

It’s undeniable; curiosity doesn’t always provide a  warm welcoming.

I heard someone say ‘the problem with curiosity is the fear of the destination’….For this reason, I’ve had to say out loud my heart’s desires and wishes- to speak all into existence. Plans and wishes may change, right now I need signs and clues.

We can’t depend on predictions. Instead, we follow our heart and allow the journey to give us the tools and resources to arrive where we secretly wished we were…

‘Til next time


Amaris Jacobs.


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